The pain of the base
I would like to set the spotlight in this article on women who struggle with something commonly referred to as vulvodynia or vestibulodynia—a condition that is shaking you from your base…
Where to start?
Vulvodynia or vestibulodynia means not much more than pain in the vulva area. Where it comes from no one knows exactly, which is why many people with yoni (8—12%!) are running from doctor to doctor for years, if not decades, without answers or ideas, spending thousands of euros in medications or alternative healing methods, because they conventional medicine and our health care system does not address the issue. It is this »diagnosis« (which is actually not one, as it is only called that when everything else has been medically ruled out) of pain in the area of the yoni entrance, the small lips to the area of the complete vulva/anus region. Often so bad that even the of an underwear is already extremely uncomfortable. Symptomatic here can be a feeling of soreness/irritation, burning, itching, discharge that feels stinging or like acid on the skin, swelling of the tissue, hardening of the pelvic floor muscles, and with all of this comes an everyday restriction of the quality of life.
What this does to mental health: it is a deeply stressful condition that no one can imagine who has not experienced it. Many women feel cut off from being a full »woman«, it is only possible to connect with your partner on a sexual level to a limited extent, you feel excluded from things that previously gave you the greatest pleasure and nourished you. Many women suffer so much that they can no longer pursue a regular job. The pain is always there—24/7. At the end of the day, you just want to go to sleep to just not feel pain anymore for a few hours.
Many women cannot have pain-free sex, pursue hobbies such as horseback riding, swimming, cycling or dancing, many cannot even walk or sit normally without being in a state of pain.
In addition to this already burdensome situation, the majority of gynecologists are uninformed and lack the capacity and motivation to help patients with these symptoms due to lack of time. The field is simply too poorly researched. It is a lengthy process to find out which components lead to the occurrence of this clinical picture. There is no one-size-fits-all ointment that can be applied for 10 days and then everything will be fine again. Often patients hear phrases like, »You’re healthy. Maybe you have too much stress?« What not being heard and taken seriously in such a stressful situation does to one’s self-esteem? Nothing good.
Of course a woman has stress. Because she has complaints, maybe for years and pain is a stress symptom of the body. Because the couple relationship suffers, because there are fears to lose the partner in the long run, because it makes the search for a partner more difficult, if you are not already lucky enough to be in a partnership. Because you have to cancel your friends repeatedly, that you can’t do your common hobby for several times. Because you can never tell in advance when it will be a good or a bad day. Because you are afraid that at some point they will stop asking. Because all ease in one’s own physical relationship and relationship with others suffers significantly and disappears in the end. Because the fear of the pain programs a pain memory in the body, one certain things sometime no longer even tries to provoke the pain again out of fear. Of course there is stress when you sees old videos in which you do things that in the present consciousness set off an alarm in the head. One no longer associates the pleasure, the good feeling with a thing/movement/touch, but the fear that this will again trigger a new pain episode or the awareness that this thing/movement/touch is simply impossible in the current state. And then there is the fear that this will now stay like this forever….
Who wouldn’t be stressed?
This generalizing question is a slim sign that even in conventional medicine, the mental state is known to have an effect on the physical. With this small question they release a woman back into the world. How wide the field of »stress reduction« is, where to start in an exceptional situation lasting all day like that of vulvodynia or vestibulodynia, there are no or very few empirical values for this. In which connection stress actually stands on a physical level with the symptoms, is rarely explained in detail. Often one is referred to the next doctor, has to wait further weeks or even months for an appointment, which is incredibly energy-consuming, in a phase in which there is already little energy left anyway.
I am also one of these women. My body and whole system has chosen this way to show me that some things are not in their balance. How I was able to make an improvement I will share here in the following weeks, months or even years. Because I don’t know how long it will last. How long I have to research to figure out the physical component of the imbalance and resolve the mental one for myself. Whether I have to learn to dance with better and worse episodes—for life. However, I am very optimistic one day to be able to look back on this time and these entries and tip my hat to my own courage and perseverance.
I can’t say, of course, that what I share here will be the path for every recovery. I am only sharing my experiences of how I manage my daily life and keep my quality of life alive, what components contribute to an improvement and most importantly how I stay in touch with my social environment, maintain my relationship(s).
What I am offering
»Meet Your Temple«-Ritual for Women
Sensual Body Painting-Ritual
The Art of Cuddling
Sacred Space Creation
Your Temple Drawing
Sensual Nude Drawing Circle
Playful Printing for Couples
Individual Tantric Ritual
Supported Tantric Ritual for Women