The pain of the base

I would like to set the spotlight in this article on women who struggle with something commonly referred to as vulvodynia or vestibulodynia—a condition that is shaking you from your base…

Of course a woman has stress. Because she has complaints, maybe for years and pain is a stress symptom of the body. Because the couple relationship suffers, because there are fears to lose the partner in the long run, because it makes the search for a partner more difficult, if you are not already lucky enough to be in a partnership. Because you have to cancel your friends repeatedly, that you can’t do your common hobby for several times. Because you can never tell in advance when it will be a good or a bad day. Because you are afraid that at some point they will stop asking. Because all ease in one’s own physical relationship and relationship with others suffers significantly and disappears in the end. Because the fear of the pain programs a pain memory in the body, one certain things sometime no longer even tries to provoke the pain again out of fear. Of course there is stress when you sees old videos in which you do things that in the present consciousness set off an alarm in the head. One no longer associates the pleasure, the good feeling with a thing/movement/touch, but the fear that this will again trigger a new pain episode or the awareness that this thing/movement/touch is simply impossible in the current state. And then there is the fear that this will now stay like this forever….

Who wouldn’t be stressed?

This generalizing question is a slim sign that even in conventional medicine, the mental state is known to have an effect on the physical. With this small question they release a woman back into the world. How wide the field of »stress reduction« is, where to start in an exceptional situation lasting all day like that of vulvodynia or vestibulodynia, there are no or very few empirical values for this. In which connection stress actually stands on a physical level with the symptoms, is rarely explained in detail. Often one is referred to the next doctor, has to wait further weeks or even months for an appointment, which is incredibly energy-consuming, in a phase in which there is already little energy left anyway.

I am also one of these women. My body and whole system has chosen this way to show me that some things are not in their balance. How I was able to make an improvement I will share here in the following weeks, months or even years. Because I don’t know how long it will last. How long I have to research to figure out the physical component of the imbalance and resolve the mental one for myself. Whether I have to learn to dance with better and worse episodes—for life. However, I am very optimistic one day to be able to look back on this time and these entries and tip my hat to my own courage and perseverance.

I can’t say, of course, that what I share here will be the path for every recovery. I am only sharing my experiences of how I manage my daily life and keep my quality of life alive, what components contribute to an improvement and most importantly how I stay in touch with my social environment, maintain my relationship(s).